Your Perception Of Me Is A Reflection Of You
There was a man who had 2 children Raju and Ravi of the same age. After his wife passed away due to problematic health conditions, the whole responsibility of the house as well as the proper upbringing of his children rested on his shoulders. As the days passed, it became very difficult for him to run the house. Earlier his wife contributed to the expenses but now as a part-time labourer in the unorganized sector, all the odds were against him. He took up the habit of heavily drinking, coming home late, avoiding his children, and beating them.
This was becoming a norm in their home. After 18 years, it became very interesting to see that Ravi after completing his high school education, prepared for the IIT-JEE exam went on to become a very successful engineer at Microsoft whereas Raju dropped out of school, started eating tobacco, and due to the bad influence of some of his friend started drinking and was living the life of jobless man. The topic of particular interest is that years later when asked both Raju and Ravi what led them to where they are today, both had the same answer ” My father was a drunk, what did you expect me to be ?”
From the above story, we see that despite coming from the same background they both ended in an altogether different lifestyle as far as North and South. What went wrong? What was the difference? These are the questions that inspire a curious mind. Despite having the same background, same family, and same environment, they both were unique.
We can also say despite living in the same world, they had different worlds inside of them. They saw things, experienced situations, and perceived it very differently which shaped their experiences . Both brothers perceived their father differently. One adopted the bad habits of drinking from his father whereas the other tried to adopt what good can be absorbed from his father. It can also be applied to all the people in the world. As everyone is unique, different perceptions can be formed. But why is that?
A perception is formed because of our emotions, ideas, beliefs, environment, and what we are taught at home among other things. Our emotions very much affect how we see something or someone. For example, me and my friend are seeing a beautiful sunset but the difference is that my friend was not enjoying it.
It is very much possible that he may not enjoy the sunset and his thoughts about the sunset will be very different from mine. The same can be said about a person. If you have a negative thought about someone, it is often because you are feeling negative or insecure about yourself. If you are feeling selfish that might be because you are a bit selfish. On the other hand, if you think positively about someone, it is usually because you are feeling positive and confident in yourself. This shows that what you think, and how you feel about yourself decides a lot about how you will see others.
The way you perceive me i.e. create a mental perception of myself will depend on your inner world and personality. The problem is that what we often perceive is often based on our genetic predisposition, past experience, prior knowledge, emotions, preconceived notions, self-interest, and cognitive distortion. This might be the reason why Britishers in their ethnocentric worldview always believed that their race to be superior, polarisation of the world based on race, religion, and economic growth. Recently we can say that it is seen in the Russia-Ukraine war. Russia’s perception about NATO and its interventionist policies have been seen and experienced by Russia throughout the history of the Cold War till date.
There is a way to change our own perception about others and about self. It is by becoming aware. A variety of people have different thoughts about awareness. It has the capacity to change one’s perception, to change how he sees things or maybe how he thinks he sees things. As rightly said by Swami Vivekanand, awareness is a simple act of acknowledging reality as it is. Where does the problem lie?
The main problem is that we believe what we perceive about others as true and the things happening after that just keep on building on it. Becoming aware challenges those pillars of belief in our minds which is very important if we want to see things as it is. Awareness can also be achieved by education. As we study more, we know more. We start to see things differently which was not possible earlier because our views were limited to what we knew earlier. ” Awareness allows us to get outside of our mind and allow it in action.
According to William Schutz, an American psychologist, “As my awareness increases, my control over my own being increases” It is also seen as an agent of change in many instances in world history. A society’s progress can also be linked to it. Thus it can be rightly said that how a person responds in a particular situation also reflects the awareness that the person possesses and the person has full control over the decision about whether he/she wants this change.
This kind of change has always led to individual growth and also influenced and pushed society towards the direction of progress. Maslow also talks about awareness indirectly in his pyramid hierarchy of needs. The last stage talks about self-actualization which in the same form is awareness. Thus we can say that how a person sees us is clearly dependent on how he perceives but it is also in our control as to how we respond to it and this can be heavily influenced by our understanding of our awareness.
Name: Anshul Rakesh Gajbhiye
Qualifications: BA in pol science
